It better get Better...

We had a Board Meeting for the theatre last night. I was in a good mood when I got there, but halfway through the meeting that was gone. I wanted to slam my computer shut and leave. I felt that my input was not valued and that I was being condescended to. If this keeps up I will not be back next year. My time is too valuable to feel the way I did. I wrote the Board about my specific issues and I have received a message back from the President asking me to call when I feel I can talk about it, but I know I am not ready right now. This is the second meeting this year (out of three) that I have written to the Board the next day because I felt I was prevented from saying something at the actual meeting. Both times I felt dismissed. What is the point of me being on the Board if I can't express my opinion?

Yesterday at lunch...

One of the actors was telling a story. Apparently a friend of hers is in a theatre company in Germany and his mother went over to see the production and while there the company paid for all of the mother's meals. She felt that this was a reflection of how arts was valued in Germany as opposed to Canada. I'm not sure that's exactly what it means. Hmmmm. I'm thinking on this. I am torn about the whole thing. I personally think there is a lot of accessible art in my life. There is a range of cost for this from FREE (my APN play reading) to EXPENSIVE (The Citadel, Justin Timberlake) but there is always something to do. I find Edmonton to be an Arts Mecca. If I didn't have other conflicts I could probably go to 3-4 arts related events a week.

I know. I do not live the life of the "artist". I am lucky to do the work I do and not have to worry about it being my source of income. I can't imagine living contract to contract and auditioning and hoping for the job because who knows what else will come down the road. I have always thought of Acting as a type of "Lottery" career. It is the same way I think of Hockey Players. Very few will make the "big bucks". Some of it is talent dependent. You need to have the minimum required skills and talents, but some is luck. Some is just being in the right place at the right time. So the average working artist just gets by. They are not rich in money, but perhaps they quality of their lives is enriched by doing what they love. I don't know. Why would you keep doing it otherwise?

I am still thinking about this. I am likely to keep thinking about it for a long time. I was just so thrilled to get money for rehearsing my play. It was something I would have done for free because I got enough of a thrill from just being there.

The media likes me?

This is what I was told. Pretty cool idea. I wonder who the media are?

Yelling Doesn't Usually Help the Situation...

I know that. Why do I do it? I am not sure myself. At least I do it less now than I used to...

And After the holidays....

Well, the week was a whirlwind as I knew it would be. It would have been nice to have had that last day before Christmas Eve to do any last minute shopping and make sure I had everything I needed, but I didn't have it, so I dealt with my missing items by phoning Mom to bring them. It all worked out, but I knew it could've been better. The trip itself wasn't so bad, but there was little in it that enriched my life. No one asked about me, despite my asking about them. It was good for the boys, but a little too good in the presents department and I worry about that. As it is, only one of Gibson's 3 big trucks has been opened and played with and I don't think Oliver has picked up the Spiderman helicopter since being home. The kids get so much stuff. We may hide some of it away for a while and bring it out later when a "new" thing is needed. Christmas Eve was less chaotic than usual. The kids are a little older and better able to negotiate with each other. I was pleased with the books and clothes that came on that day. It wasn't all a big toy fest. And Christmas went well. I did have to call for a few items (milk, onion, cranberry sauce) but whatever wasn't there we did without. My sugar cookies didn't work so we didn't have them. Maybe people ate less sweets because of that. Through it all I was sick, doped up on Tylenol Cold, but that actually helped because I just wanted to get it done and be there. We had a few games in the evening and it was all good fun with none of the usual brother-sister badgering (strange that).

Feeling Better?...

Well someone must have said "no" to one of the 6 ladies in The Ladies Singing Their Song because I was just offered it. I lost the Real Estate Agent part, but that's okay, I'd rather have a chance to sing. Should be cool. Magnolia is also singing in that number so we shall have to kick it!

Sucking it up....

I decided to do the show. I am still feeling a little low about it because I really wanted Arlene and I know I would have rocked the part. I am also worried about how much singing I will get to do but I have been reassured by Marie that I will be doing a lot of singing. I am not so sure because it doesn't seem like that kind of a show, but it may be that there is more chorus stuff that just isn't on the soundtrack.

The way my musical theatre experience has played out in Edmonton so far has really messed with my self-image. In Fort McMurray I was what Judy is here. I haven't been able to show that and I thought this would be the role. There is something liberating about being able to recreate yourself, but I hate that I feel like that in doing so I have lost a big part of my self-identity. El Muchacho was something, but it wasn't the kind of stuff I do best, this show would have been. There is also something exhausting about having to pay my dues again when I have been doing this stuff since 1982. What is that? 25 years? Yikes!

Oh well, I am sucking it up (though it may not seem that way). Both Magnolia and Shelby are on board and it will be great to see them on a more regular basis. I can tell you, there will be no room for diva-crap from the leads in this show... not with so many talented people in the ensemble... I know I won't stand for it.