Damage Control... Before This Gets Worse, I'd Better Do Something...

I have always had good intentions when it comes to working out. However, you know how good intentions work... throw in my life and nothing that is completely and only about me gets done. However, this week it is pretty bad. I had a dance rehearsal Tuesday night for A Little Night Music wherein we waltzed for about 45 minutes of the hour and a half (maybe a bit more, hard to tell), this was followed by set painting the next morning for about 3 and a half hours at Walterdale and on Thursday morning I was walking like a 90 year old. My right knee was killing me and my lower back was not happy. I took Thursday off and tried to rest through the ache, but then I painted again on Friday and that afternoon was not good. I know that I have to make the time for me to get in better shape. I am not going to run marathons, I do not even care what size I wear, it's the aches and pains that I cannot deal with. This week must start with me as priority. That is my intention... let's hope I follow through.

Hard to put one step in front of one another...

Well, I have been okay with one of my goals for this week. I have been easily staying in my calorie range. That's been a relief. I have been challenged by the no eating after 8 p.m. I certainly am not eating as much as before, but the structure of the days I have had has led to small snacks to curb a bigger mistake. I have also not been able to work out yet. Sick kids, evening meetings, writing articles and doing homework has subsumed my working out. To be fair, I have 4 1/2 days until the Wednesday weigh in - so I might still be able to get my 4 workouts in there. Cross your fingers. It is just hard to put myself first when every other person in the house is sick.

I am walking Oliver's pokewalker for him and he is pleased with the number of steps I have been taking. I must admit my desire for more wattage on that thing makes me take longer routes and less short-cuts.

Getting to Work on Some Stuff...

Lots of things are starting for me this month. It's September so school started for both myself and the kids. That's always shift in the rhythm of the house. I am enjoying my class but have been disappointed by the poor health of myself and the boys. I can go to class when I am sick, but not when the kids are home and I have missed 2 Mondays now, one for Gibson and one for Oliver. I hope I am not left behind. Luckily I have a pal who will share his notes with me.

Mom and I started a weekly weigh-in. I have had little progress. Well, the first week I was down 1.2 lbs, the next week I was up 2.2 lbs. I had illness and a lot of eating out to blame. I am trying to get a handle on this. I know that currently my life does not support me being thin, but I can try to get healthy, or at least healthier. I got on the treadmill today and stuck it out until I finished my full hour. I also did reps of push-ups and squats. It was not fun. It was not fun, because I have let things slide so bad and my knee is stiff (it is raining today) and I just have to do it. I will walk slower if I have to and build it up, but I am going to do my hour a day and built up the strength. I am worried about my right leg. I am encountering a lot of stiffness in the knee and pain in the hip joint. I know that I have to get this looked at. It can't be good. It could just be the weight though.

The Walterdale Season started. We had a good AGM with nice attendance and a very quick meeting and all went well. I was disappointed that a few people backed out on their contributions at the last minute, but I don't think it showed and these things happen. I know that things come up and you can't always change them, but I hope the same understanding is given if I have to let something slide periodically. Sometimes I don't feel that it's a two way street.

I am gearing up for Rabbit Hole Auditions. They are October 10th and 11th. We have a nice amount of people signed up and I feel that I will be able to create a phenomenal cast from those that have signed up. I also know I am going to have a tough time because there will be many strong people that I will have to say 'not this time' to. That is the challenge of casting.

I am also debating about auditioning for Into the Woods with ELOPE. This is one of my dream shows. There are a couple of parts I would love to do. I am worried because it will overlap Rabbit Hole with rehearsals and that is tough to do. I think I will audition and see what comes of it and make a decision after that. I will also be totally upfront about my schedule and let them know that I am totally prepared to work privately with a voice teacher on my own dime to learn music so that I am up to speed. We will see. I could change my mind if I think it will be too much.

Fitness Begins...

So, I got on the Treadmill today. No excuses, so I did it. It was a good hour with about 45 on the treadmill, and 15 of pushups, crunches and squats. It is a new beginning. Wish me luck on my continued comittment to fitness. I knwo I will never be skinny, but I have to do something now before my physical condition gets worse no matter how much I would rather be doing other things.

I looked back... now to the future...

Already there are some things in the works for this year, but I am going to try to control the shape of my year better. Last year was great, but there was a tumble, tumble to it because each project or commitment rolled into the next and I felt like I had no down time. Even when I had a few days off I felt guilty if I didn't work on things I knew were coming up and I want to avoid that this year. Wish me luck.

My resolutions, if you want to call them that, as as follows:

1. Think carefully about what I commit to. I am avoiding taking much responsibility for the fact that it is my 25th High School Reunion (if we have one). I will help but I will not chair. Hopefully I will be able to attend, but I have some things on the table already for the summer so I can't be responsible for anything else. I also planned the first two. I was Chair for the 10th and heavily involved for the 20th (and the only one of the committee actually living in Fort McMurray so you know how that goes). I want to see everyone, but someone else should step up. With theatre I will also have to watch it. Right now I have a crazy February. My fault. I wasn't paying attention. I am going to be more careful about what I commit to for the rest of the year, including when 'my' show for Walterdale will be in the 2010-2011 season. Another part of this thinking carefully is that I will trust my instincts and say 'no' when the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Despite the allure of the project one of the things I have learned is that there will be no shortage of opportunities for me in the future. I don't have to do them all!

2. Fitness. I should set a concrete goal. But really I have to just start. I have let my personal fitness slide because of the chaos of my life (i.e. no time). I turned to crap food too often because I needed a reward and I had no time for a pedicure or a vacation. Bad. Oh well, I am not going to beat myself up about it, because then I will feel bad and want to eat more. Right now (like this minute) I am trying to detox from all the Christmas crap and I am not buying any more. I am also going to start by getting on the treadmill for a minimum of 1 hour a day for 3 days a week. In March I will increase that to 4 times a week and in April I will go for 5 times a week. That's the plan. I am also going to be attempting to reduce the diet coke intake. Already I have increased my water intake (it's not hard to increase from basically zero). In April I will revisit and see where I am at.

3. Writing. I really want to have more time for writing. I am keeping October open so that I can go to Playworks Ink. I missed it the last 2 years and I loved it the year I went. In my busy life that is what I wish I had more time for so I must make time for it... after February is over...

4. Friendships. I think I am pretty good at these, but I do want to make at least one trip to see Wanda and I wouldn't mind a trip to Toronto to see Annemarie and Tina. I feel like I need to make that time.

That's a good list. I'll let you know how it goes!

My First Mammo...

So, now that I am over 40 I have to endure mammograms. I had my first 2 weeks ago. I expected the squishing and the discomfort (I watch Oprah). I did not expect to have to go back for an ultrasound due to 'unusual tissue' (not scary looking - she reassured me). I am happy to announce that the weird looking tissue was just lymph nodes (and possibly a blood vessel). So, nothing to worry about, which I did for about a week and a half between tests.