Looking for the Beat...

I am back home now for over a week and I am in search of the rhythm for the summer. The boys have had one week of Daycamp and I used that week to get quite a bit done.

I got 4 large bags of 'stuff' for Goodwill packed and out of the house. I cleaned the front vestibule (vestibule... I like that word) which was smelling like little and big boys shoes (because that's mostly what is in the vestibule). The vestibule now smells a lot like pine-sol.

I set up the Daycare arrangement for Gibson for the Fall (yay!). I now believe that the 1 - 1.5 year waiting list hype about daycares is a myth. The lists look that long because everyone gets themselves on 10-15 waiting lists and then when people start calling with a spot they get through it fairly quickly. My 1-1.5 year wait was in actuality 2 weeks! Ah, but the daycare is nice and close to the Uni and is a university affiliated daycare (good quality generally) and I liked it. I think it will be good for Gibson.

I called the University about my application... still waiting on the Keyano Transcript. Only 14 spaces left in the class I want... hurry up!

I rehearsed twice this week. I am about 75% off book, which I should be happy with, but I am kicking myself. It is still a month away. I have also been making chocolate Cinderella Lollipops for the press packets. I am quite enamoured of this and haven't been eating much chocolate at all. I promise. I spent a bit of time at Michael's to get the stuff for the press packets and I really love Michael's. Perhaps too much so. I also wrote my bio for the program (check!).

Yesterday I went for lunch with my good friend Tanya, who I had not seen since her ill-fated wedding over 8 years ago. We have written and talked on the phone, but this was a long over due face-to-face visit. We (and Gibby) had a nice 2 hour power chat over lunch at BP's. So great to see her again and reconnect. I have these wonderful friends from over the years and I am glad they feel the same way about me!

So, where is the beat to the summer? I am still trying to find it. There are too many small chores to do that an actual identifiable beat may not be possible.

Being More Comfortable in my own Skin...

Today was one of Gibby's Preschool days. While he was in class I sat with a couple of other mothers in the lobby chatting about this and that. They each had a younger child with them (around 6 mo- 9 mo) and the topic came up of 'going back to work'. Both spoke about it as though it was unavoidable and I got the impression that it was for different reasons, none of which were a desire to actually be at work. Both mothers cited financial reasons and one of them also cited the fear of losing seniority. I know this is one of the things that frustrates me. Not that I can't be home. Because I can. It is because it has become a luxury to be able to stay home. A few months ago, my sister sent me an article about daycare funding which summed it up for me... "Fund the Child". If the money follows the child, then people could determine more freely how to provide care for their children. By putting the funding solely into daycare, it leaves little option for those who might be 'on the cusp' of affording to stay home. I want more choice and I want social acceptability to come with all the choices. If, as a society, we only put dollars towards one choice then we are saying that that is the only choice with value. Personally, I think it might even be one of the least valuable choices for the children.

Me, the stay at home mom....

A conversation happened this weekend that made me think about what I am as defined by what I do... I am a stay at home mom. I know why I am. I know that my reasons are my own and I know that as far as I can see it is the best for me, my kids and my family. I am also a fabulous person, intelligent, talented, gifted in many ways and I do not feel that I am wasting my life by being at home, but every so often I talk to someone and I can tell that they think less of me because of my staying home with my kids. I can tell that they have an idea about 'the kind of person' that stays home with their kids. Now, in the conversation this weekend, this was not how I was treated. We weren't even talking about me, but I keep coming back to it in my head and I wonder how many people would stay home if they didn't feel they would be judged and de-valued because they chose to do that.

And then I think... do I judge people who chose to go to work and put their kids in daycare? Probably. I don't want to be that 'judgy' person, but if I am honest, I probably do. But I know a lot of that is because I am paying for part of their daycare with my taxes and no one subsidizes my staying home to care for my kids.