New Year's Resolutions

A New Year - 2012

So, first of all, I will work on my weight and fitness. My extended family has a group of us working on this in 10 week chunks. We check in via email and we did one leading up to New Years. I did okay - losing 10.3 lbs and then gaining a bit of that back over Christmas (sigh). I am down 8 lbs from that starting point. I like the 10 week chunks of time and plan to make 10 lbs per 10 weeks my goal. I like the 10 weeks because it means I can 're-new' my plan every ten weeks and not let it get lost in the busy of my life. I do find that I do much worse when I have the kids home so hopefully when they go back to school on Monday I can get back on track. Recovering from Christmas et al has been a challenge.

Second is my theatrical goal. I plan on seeing a minimum of 40 theatre or arts events this year. I actually think that is lower than what I want, but manageable. I have never kept track before so I may find that after this year I will up that total! The way I see it, that is only 3-4 events per month and that hardly sounds difficult! The hardest part will be when I am in rehearsal for Nine, because I know that my instincts will be to stay home on the nights off from rehearsal. This month I am starting out with Beauty & the Beast (Broadway Across Canada), and I hope to make it to the Canoe Festival (Workshop West). Surreal SoReal has Big Shot, and I have my ear to the ground for other shows to see. Next month is a lot more dense but I also have a show opening so I have to get to them when I can! Anyhow, I am excited about this goal!

Third is my writing goal. I want to write more. I am determined to have a script finished to submit to the APN Competition in March. This might just be the matter of choosing which to work on and dedicate time to.

That's enough for goals for now. I also want to sort out what exactly I am doing with my education at the University of Alberta. Something is holding me back from dropping Drama 240, but I am pretty sure I need to as I do not think I can handle 2 classes and I think Drama 409 is a better fit for what I want to get out of the experience. I think I need to sleep on it.

The Ubiquitous End of Year Post... My Year in Review

2011 Here it goes. For more detail, of course, you can flip through the whole Blog, but I know that I wrote more sparsely at different times of the year and sometimes my writing was motivated more by the emotional state of my life than the actual events. So a look back seems to bring out the significance in what happened this year.

Theatrical Events:
It was busy in 2011. The first half of the year I wrapped up my tenure as AD of Walterdale. I started the season knee-deep in Rabbit Hole and I think that will always be one of the most satisfying directorial experiences of my life. I had challenges that fed my personal needs. I had a terrific cast, production team and crew. I had to make some tough decisions. I had a script that I really wanted to serve and I think I did that. I also complicated my life by overlapping rehearsals for that show with The Threepenny Opera. I enjoyed doing that show. It too had elements that really made me work. The music in that show was some of the most challenging I have ever sung. Like G & S, Weill is not in my wheelhouse, meaning I had to work. So many fabulous people and it was great to be onstage in the season. I confess, I was trying to find a way to do as much as I could before the end of my tenure. So that led into my first 'real' set design for Village of Idiots. I was more nervous about that than any acting or directing job I have ever done. I worked with the wonderful Linette Smith in a kind of full-circle sort of way (she directed Steel Magnolias which was my second show at Walterdale, but the one where I really knew I was home). The summer meant Fringe and this year I was so happy to re-visit and re-draft Pieces. I was thrilled with the response form both critics and audiences. I can tell you quite honestly that the sounds of sniffling audiences makes me very happy. I also really enjoyed working with my cast and Team. The luxury of doing your own Fringe show is picking the people you want to work with. I was happy with our picks. I was also happy with the new draft as I felt that it was so much closer to the story I wanted to tell. Fall rolled into A Little Night Music at Festival Place. Another wonderful new family and the joy of singing Sondheim. And then I wrapped up the year as Master Painter for Wyrd Sisters at Walterdale. This was a fun challenge as I did not have my mentor, Joan, on hand so I had to solve the painting mystery myself and I also brought my kids on board to be my crew. Someday I see Gibson as having the potential to be an excellent set painter. Oliver might be too, if he gets paid, but I doubt he has the patience for detail work.

Educational Events:
I did Drama 209 first semester and Drama 257 second semester. Drama 209 is the second theatre history course at the U of A and you travel from just after Shakespeare to Ibsen. I really enjoyed it and find that aside from the essays I really love theatre history. Good thing I kick major butt on the exams! Drama 257 is scene study and while I really enjoyed the class, particularly my classmates, it really made me ask questions about what I was doing at University. I haven't fully answered this question but I was frustrated because although I enjoyed the course I didn't really learn anything I didn't already know. It did remind me that I was lazy about some of the character prep work that I could be doing. It also shook up my approach to objectives and tactics because I think I do them a lot more instinctively and less formally and really they are so useful, but it was more like a refresher course than an eye-opener. It is making me re-think my second semester choice. Outside of University I went to Playworks Ink in the Fall and for one very short weekend I was reminded of how much I love writing and how little time I put into it. I have so many plays I need to write. I need to make time for that writing. I don't. I need to.

Personal/Family/All the Rest:
* This year we said goodbye to Smeep, our beloved cat. This was very hard for me. She was a wonderful member of our family. I still expect her to greet me when I come home and the bumps and thumps in the night have no explanation any more. We had her longer than Oliver.
* Oliver and Gibson started basketball and for half a year it took over our lives. Well, mine anyhow. I have a better idea of how it works now and know that it means the Fall will be challenging for scheduling in other activities, but it has been very cool to watch Oliver grow as a player and start to think like a team player and an athlete.
*My cousin Margaret got married and I got to travel on my own to San Francisco/Berkley for a great family reunion - too short, as always.
* I taught my first (hopefully of many) Workshop By Request in Calmar. It was on Giving and Receiving Direction and I had so much fun with this wonderful group who have a fabulous attitude towards what they do.
* I did not gain weight, but I haven't really significantly lost any. This has to change. I am working on trying to streamline my life so that I am doing only the projects I want to do and therefore can have enough to be happy and not too much so that I can't work more on my physical shape. I just don't want that whole diet and fitness thing to take over my life. I think that would depress me and make me want to eat... I did lose 10 lbs in the last 10 weeks of 2011 and have a great support group online with my extended family. So hopefully I can continue this momentum into the new year. I am comfortable with 10 lbs in 10 weeks. It's not crazy. It's realistic.
* I did not write as much as I would have liked. This is also about time. I need to make the time for it. Pieces was a lovely opportunity and I do have a half a draft I was supposed to finish for December 15th to send to Daniel MacIvor. I need to finish that and do more. I must.

It's been a good year.

A Night Off is Lovely!

I am so happy to have a night off tonight. We were in good enough shape last night at our Dress Rehearsal that our lovely Director said we could all stay home tonight and rest up. We still have a music rehearsal (Sitz Probe or Wander Probe... not sure exactly which) tomorrow night and our final Dress on Sunday, but this evening and Saturday are delightfully off-duty days! Yay! Because I have other things to catch up on and I am looking forward to a couple days where I do not have to wear heels. The media photos are up and our Lighting Designer, Richard Hatfield, also took some great shots during the dress rehearsal last night. I love the photos, but realized that I am fatter than I thought I was (maybe it was just the angle of the photos? Please? the way the costume fits?). Anyhow, it's not surprising, just disappointing. I have got to get in shape. I could wear Spanx but then the costume might be too big so I will suck it up for this show and then make a plan. Another plan. Hopefully the snow goes away soon. Anyhow, if you want to see me onstage (it's been a while for Walterdale) I am in The Threepenny Opera at Walterdale Theatre. It opens on April 6th (Wed) and runs to April 16th (Saturday). Shows are at 8 p.m. with a 2 p.m. Sunday matinee. If you are a student you can come on Monday, April 4th for free (with your I.D.) to the Director's Preview. I play Mrs. Peachum, a thoroughly nasty woman and I am having a hoot playing it. I would love to see you out for it! Tickets are available through Tix on the Square in advance or at the box office 1 hour prior to show time. Tickets are pretty reasonable - the lowest priced theatre tickets in town (we believe in making theatre accessible to as many as possible) and range from $14 - $18. For those of you cash strapped non-students there is a 2 for 1 night on the first Thursday of the run (April 7th). So there is the dirt on the show. It's a bit saucy, a bit nasty, filled with great performances and has fabulous costumes and sets. Come check it out!

Done. Just Starting.

There is no weigh-in today. My weigh-in partner is out of town, so I have two weeks to undo the incredible amount of candy I ate over the last few days at auditions. To be fair, I didn't actually eat a tonne of calories, but those that I did eat were primarily sugar. Ya gotta do, what you gotta do. I avoided a seriously huge Thanksgiving Feast because I had auditions and Mark took the boys to Olds. Mom had a Thanksgiving breakfast on Monday, instead. That was nice. I didn't pig out, but the food was good and it was nice to see the Matt Strand family. Those little girls are hilarious, particularly Ariana (she does this pouting thing to intentionally try to look cute - it soooo works).

Auditions. exhale. They were good in that we had 60 people come out for 5 roles. There's a lot of choice in that. They were bad in that, from those 60 people I had 20 that I called back because they were just that good. I had another 20 that I would've called back, but I tried to make some hard decisions earlier to make it easier later. That did and didn't work. I am seriously blown away by the talent I saw. I made a joke to my Assistant Director about Quadruple casting it, but even though it was a joke, I could've. Anyhow, I have my cast. They all seem fabulous and I think that as an ensemble of 5 they will be tremendous. Now we get to work. Right after I dye my hair... I got some more grey hairs this weekend.

Hard to put one step in front of one another...

Well, I have been okay with one of my goals for this week. I have been easily staying in my calorie range. That's been a relief. I have been challenged by the no eating after 8 p.m. I certainly am not eating as much as before, but the structure of the days I have had has led to small snacks to curb a bigger mistake. I have also not been able to work out yet. Sick kids, evening meetings, writing articles and doing homework has subsumed my working out. To be fair, I have 4 1/2 days until the Wednesday weigh in - so I might still be able to get my 4 workouts in there. Cross your fingers. It is just hard to put myself first when every other person in the house is sick.

I am walking Oliver's pokewalker for him and he is pleased with the number of steps I have been taking. I must admit my desire for more wattage on that thing makes me take longer routes and less short-cuts.

Good News

Weekly Weigh-in. Despite my worrying, I was delightfully down this week. I was down 1.2 lbs from my starting weight and 2.4 lbs down from last week so I will thank the time on the treadmill yesterday as well as watching what and when I ate the last couple of days. I also suggested to my Mom that we make some weekly goals so that we have more purpose to get us to the next week. My 3 goals are to work-out significantly (1 hour or longer) for at least 4 days this week, stay within 1300-2000 calories per day, and to not eat after 8 p.m. Hopefully those three goals will serve me well.

Went back to class today. It was fun. Lovely Gil let me borrow his notes to type out at home and bring back Friday. He trusts me - that's nice. I enjoyed the lecture and I like the kids I sit with. They are friendly and interested.

I worked on masks for Much Ado last night. I can only do the basic masks for now until I get fabric samples and costume designs, but that is a lot of groundwork. I got three basic masks done last night, and another finished this morning and I am currently working on 2 more. The nice thing about the method I am using is that if I do not like the shape I can cut off the part I don't like and build the mask up again until I like the shape. I know I could just buy commercial masks, but this is cheaper money wise (not time wise) and more importantly, I feel it is more of an artistic process for me. I enjoy the creation of the masks and the painting and decorating and marking it cohesive with the costumes and the concept of the show. I know they won't be onstage very long, but that's not the point.

Getting to Work on Some Stuff...

Lots of things are starting for me this month. It's September so school started for both myself and the kids. That's always shift in the rhythm of the house. I am enjoying my class but have been disappointed by the poor health of myself and the boys. I can go to class when I am sick, but not when the kids are home and I have missed 2 Mondays now, one for Gibson and one for Oliver. I hope I am not left behind. Luckily I have a pal who will share his notes with me.

Mom and I started a weekly weigh-in. I have had little progress. Well, the first week I was down 1.2 lbs, the next week I was up 2.2 lbs. I had illness and a lot of eating out to blame. I am trying to get a handle on this. I know that currently my life does not support me being thin, but I can try to get healthy, or at least healthier. I got on the treadmill today and stuck it out until I finished my full hour. I also did reps of push-ups and squats. It was not fun. It was not fun, because I have let things slide so bad and my knee is stiff (it is raining today) and I just have to do it. I will walk slower if I have to and build it up, but I am going to do my hour a day and built up the strength. I am worried about my right leg. I am encountering a lot of stiffness in the knee and pain in the hip joint. I know that I have to get this looked at. It can't be good. It could just be the weight though.

The Walterdale Season started. We had a good AGM with nice attendance and a very quick meeting and all went well. I was disappointed that a few people backed out on their contributions at the last minute, but I don't think it showed and these things happen. I know that things come up and you can't always change them, but I hope the same understanding is given if I have to let something slide periodically. Sometimes I don't feel that it's a two way street.

I am gearing up for Rabbit Hole Auditions. They are October 10th and 11th. We have a nice amount of people signed up and I feel that I will be able to create a phenomenal cast from those that have signed up. I also know I am going to have a tough time because there will be many strong people that I will have to say 'not this time' to. That is the challenge of casting.

I am also debating about auditioning for Into the Woods with ELOPE. This is one of my dream shows. There are a couple of parts I would love to do. I am worried because it will overlap Rabbit Hole with rehearsals and that is tough to do. I think I will audition and see what comes of it and make a decision after that. I will also be totally upfront about my schedule and let them know that I am totally prepared to work privately with a voice teacher on my own dime to learn music so that I am up to speed. We will see. I could change my mind if I think it will be too much.

A New Year

I know. It's not January, but September always feels like the start of a new year to me. All those years of school, both as a student and then as a teacher and now as a mother of school children, have created a feeling of 'go' in September. So I had my first class today (Theatre History) and the boys started school last Wednesday. Scholastically we seem to all be on the right track. The boys are settling in alright and I have a few 'friends' in my class (some from the first year Drama classes, and some from Walterdale). It's all good there. I have also figured out a bus route that I will take on some days. It should take 45 minutes which is twice the time of driving, but I can read on the bus. I wish the LRT were more accessible. Sigh.

I started watching the calories last week and the types of food I was eating and then we went away on the weekend and I regressed, but I am back to the calorie/food watching. I am frustrated by this whole process but know it is necessary. I am using the number 1600-2000 calories per day and trying to keep my Carbs vs. Protein vs. Fat reasonable, but I realize that I am not quite sure what exactly to eat to keep the ratios reasonable and I am not sure what reasonable really, really is. I do feel better about my food choices and we shall see how that goes. If I feel better physically and start moving with intention, maybe I will really lose weight. Mom and I started our own 'Weight Watchers' by weighing in this morning and throwing $5 each in a jar. We are going to do this every week and see how it goes. This way we are being accountable and saving the money. Sometimes the Weight Watchers was good, but sometimes it wasn't and when I didn't lose weight I felt grumpy about the money. Next Spring we will go shopping, or something... We have to work on the plan for the money.

I also need to write. Things are percolating. I need to get things on paper (electronically). I need to do that. I also have a month until I am rehearsing, so the sooner I write the better. Once I am in rehearsal, it gets hard to put time into the writing.

Anyhow, here goes 2010-2011...

Lazy Days of Summer...

Yesterday I took the boys to the Spray park at Glengarry. I have to keep them doing things or else they invade each other's territory and the punches and tears start. It's not constant, and in fact I tend to get several hours of good play before an altercation, but when it does happen it always seems to be at a critical point in my work. I wonder, do these kids have special radar for when the absolute worst time to fight would be?

Anyhow, the spray park was great and even tempered the rest of the day as there were very few moments of high drama for the rest of the day. Nothing like sun and water to sort out a child's day! We are going to hit a few more spray parks this week. I am mixing it up but going to different ones. They long to go back to West Ed, but a couple of things stop me from doing that. First, the outrageous price and second, the thought of my butt in a swimsuit in public. Maybe after I lose about 50 lbs... but even then it would still be so very, very expensive for just a couple of hours of fun. They would have stayed longer yesterday and it was all free so why waste the money?

I have put away the LOST DVDs until Season 6 comes out. I re-watched all the seasons and even the special features and the deleted scenes and all that but now it is time for a rest. I need to be reading more. Finished up a book yesterday and started a new one. I also need to be writing. Hard with the distractions of summer...

Fitness and Food - Focus of the Day

Well, I checked out that FitDay Site that my sister recommended and I quite like it. I had to do some other research online about how many calories I should be eating (my initial impulse to say 1200 was far too low). It is puzzling, because I lack the knowledge about nutrition that I feel would help me do this really well, but I like the inputting on computer and the fact that it will make little graphs and track my calories and fat grams and protein and carbs and all that. It also forced me to look through the pantry for 'better choices'. A turkey burger vs. a beef burger was a great decision, and I can have many, many pickles before it has too much impact on the calories. I am still struggling to figure out what the balance between carbs, fat and protein should be, but this site tracks it all very well for me so if I don't have success, I can print it off and take it to someone who knows better.

I also went on the treadmill again today. I only went for 27 minutes because that was all I could fit in and I was sore from yesterday, but technically I have fulfilled 2/3 of my exercise commitment for the week. If I keep this up I will exceed my goal and that's not a bad thing!

Success!

Well, I managed to count 5 out of 7 days last week and the success was on the scale today as I was down 2 pounds. I didn't manage to count yesterday so it might have been better if I didn't have pasta for supper (ha ha ha). This does not surprise me. I knew what the problem was. I just was having a difficult time actually counting. I was feeling mentally exhausted by the idea of doing it. So I put away the weekly counting books and started each day with a blank piece of paper and just recorded. The two days I didn't count I was running around and in the wrong place for meal times so everything went by the wayside, but that's okay. A single piece of paper to record doesn't stress me like a week long commitment. Stupid, I know, but at least I counted for 5 days this week and I am down.

I expect to be in pain tomorrow. I went to Manuela's class at the Y and she worked us like dogs! What is with all the running? Ai yi yi! Oh, well, that's why I go. I want to get to the point where I can actually do a bench dip or more than 1 'real' push-up in a row. How's that for a fitness goal?

Feeling Strong!

This week was great. It was Spring Break and I had both kids enrolled in YMCA day camps. Gib can only go half days because of his age, but that was 3 hours a day which is more than I ever get so I took advantage of it. I managed to work out every day this week (Sun-Sat) and I mean good work outs. I did the drop in classes at the YMCA on Mon, Tues, and Wed. I ran on the treadmill on Sun, Thurs, Fri and Sat. I also did a stretch class at the YMCA on Thursday just to see what it was. It was not as rigorous as I would have liked, but I got a good stretch and it was good for my muscles. I also enjoyed a pedicure on Monday and I got the worst manicure in my life! Great hand and arm massage but terrible, terrible, terrible manicure. Oh well.

Baby was fun on Tuesday night. We were discoing out and we sounded great. I am disappointed that I can see the writing on the wall for the show and the ensemble is going to be heard and not seen, but I am in and the people in the ensemble are fun so we shall have a good time.

The only two down sides to the week were that I had to deal with the boys at night, because Mark was away, so I got yucky sleeps and the fact that I had not been losing weight. Oh well, I feel very strong and my jeans feel good, so I will just hope the pounds will come off eventually if I keep the momentum up.

Funny Link

A friend of mine posted this link on his Facebook wall - I thought it was very funny. Enjoy (and I hope you get it - please don't tell me if you don't).

http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/you_know_whats_stupid

Oh, yeah, I am hurting. I can't believe I went to a Step and Core class the day after Manuela's Cardio Kick-Start. I am surprised I can even move. BUT I have to do it because, as my weigh in told me yesterday, I have a lot of work to do.

Damage Control...

Well, the scale shows the story... thankfully the clothes still fit so it could be worse. I went to Manuela's Class at the YMCA today. I also did a circuit yesterday at the Y during Gib's pre-school, however, nothing is like Manuela's class. She is killer and she rocks and you cannot leave there without working hard. I will be sore tomorrow (especially my right buttock - I can tell). I am scheduled to go in tomorrow for a Step and Core class, but if the soreness is too much I may just walk the track. I have also scheduled baby-sitting for Friday. I should be okay for that class. It may be a good thing that Manuela only does the Wednesday class. It is probably too late for this week's weigh-in. I am still working off those martinis and the movie popcorn and the rice krispie squares. Don't get me wrong, they were worth it, but now it is back to real life and I have to start being accountable to myself! I want to be in size 14 for the summer.... It can happen.

Back to WW...

Yesterday Mom and I returned to WW after a hiatus of over 6 weeks. This meant we had to re-register, which was okay. I figured I'd join now and within 3 weeks I should have results because of the point I am at today and what is coming up with the show opening and all that. I was only up 3 lbs from when I left which is pretty good for maintaining over Christmas and the chaos of directing a show. Plus I wore heavy clothes and didn't pee before weigh in like I usually do so that's gotta be another pound!

A funny way to diet...

This week I stopped eating meals and it worked. Don't be alarmed. I am still eating, but I have always had trouble controlling my snacking. That is my major problem with eating. So I would snack and then have my breakfast, lunch and dinner and when you combined all the food it was way too much. In the past I would try to stop the snacking and I would invariably fail to do that well. So, this week I did my snacking (trying to keep it fairly nutritious) and just didn't have the meals. I stayed within my points for the day and I am optimistic about tomorrow's weigh-in. Cross your fingers.

Feeling Better...

I am down a total of 24 lbs on the WW scale. I know, I know, I was down 25 before but that was before the summer and we are now back on track. I am down 30 on the home scale and occasionally I drop down to 32 lbs lost on a good morning. The good thing is that the weigh-ins are back to moving in the right direction.

This week I pledge to get back to the YMCA for workouts. Feeling sick all last week kind of derailed me. I will also get on the treadmill. My goal is at least 3 workouts between now and Friday. I am away on the weekend so I will have to figure out something else for that.

Fitness is frustrating...

So, this Fall I committed to working out. Oliver is in school full days and it is much easier to leave one child in babysitting plus Gibson is usually pretty easy going about those things. As well, with Oliver in full days I didn't have to worry about being home for the bus and all that. No excuses. So I have been booking Gibson in for babysitting 3X a week and I go to a drop in class at the YMCA. I also try to use the Treadmill at home on my "days off". I feel stronger, however, I am gaining weight! I don't think I am eating more. I have also started a "don't eat after 8:15 p.m." rule which has cut out a lot of extra calories. I have to believe it is muscle because it is annoying! The other annoying thing is that Gibson has started being really fussy about going to babysitting. I know he is doing it to see what he can control, but my "easy" kid is starting to get challenging and I don't need that! Arghhhh!

Shakespeare set to music...

Went to see Two Gentlemen of Verona tonight. I enjoyed it, although I was very forgiving due to the fact that there were challenges with the whole thing. The sound was an issue. It was better in Act 2, but never perfect. Basically the balance was totally wrong whenever it was a female solo or an ensemble number. The band was TOO LOUD! Other than that the only other major issue I had was that you could tell the "ensemble" was not usually in musicals. They worked hard, but the sopranos were weak (too much alto) and there was just a gap between their skill in the musical form compared to the leads. The songs were fun and we (my friends Vero, Richie and I) debated the balance between Shakespeare and Musical. We felt there should have been more "Musical" less "Shakespeare" to really make it work. Some outstanding work by Chris Bullough, Kevin Corey, Natasha N., and Sheldon Elter. The other female lead had the skills, but not the subtlety to be as good as these four. Funny, funny, funny was Ron Pederson. Oh, and Troy and Julian seemed so out of place in a musical.

Oh! And I noticed, because it was obvious. Not one of the women was overweight or out of shape, but a 1/3 of the men were in less than prime condition. What's that about? Even the "slim" men had odd body shapes, while ALL of the women were slim with nice figures. Double standard! I saw it. It was there (how could you miss it when the women's ensemble were in hot pants!?!).

How Do You Keep It Up?

Finding it very hard to count points this week and last. Was up this past weigh in and the heat has produced this incredible emotional inertia. I know I need to write it down, but I am tired of it. I need some renewal. I need some reward. It is so exhausting to do the work some days.