My Neck is All Kinked Up!

I am not sure what is causing it, but there are several possible contributing factors.

First, I am in the middle of auditions for The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee and whenever I look at my callback list I get stressed.  I really shouldn't look at it.  The stress is in fact a good thing, but it is because I have more fabulous people than I can use that I am stressed,  It was hard enough to make the list because of I have already cut some wonderful performers but we had to.  It's what you have to do.  I'll be fine next week when it's all decided.  I am not going to think more about it until I actually see the callbacks because that will be the deciding place.

Second, I have been watching the twitter and the news and reading everything I can find about the whole Idle No More movement and the history leading up to it.  Encouraged by the rants of my good friend Amelia, I have read everything I can find, from far left (ugh) to far right (ugh again) and find I sit, as always, somewhere in the middle.  But the evolution of this whole movement has really disappointed me.  It's an opportunity to make change and fix problems that some people with obviously massive egos are letting slip by.  You cannot choose what is for dinner if you are not in the kitchen helping to make it! Argh!  I know, it's complicated, but from what I watched emerge on Twitter, the protests happening today were planned a while ago.  There are people who were simply not going to meet - EVER.  Anyhow, I keep watching and reading as this evolves.  I think it's a massive ^$@#-up and support for the movement from both inside and outside Aboriginal communities is dropping. I am worried, because I think some people actually want a war.  There are some people involved that I think want this to become violent, and that scares me. And just as bad, if nothing is accomplished now, with all this focus on the issue - When will things ever get fixed?!?! This is the time people! We have a chance to deal with the poverty, the housing issues, the environmental issues, and imagined or perceived slights are not good enough reasons to not deal with this stuff.  Hey, I am not an expert on this, but what I see really, really saddens and angers me.

Third, I think I need a new pillow, but I think once the first two points are resolved (extra hopefully with the second) and I take some ibuprofen I should be ok.

Looking Back/Looking Forward

Last post of the year...

A good year.  Sometimes I was busier than I would have liked and sometimes I was less busy than I would have liked.  It all evens out in the end.  I leave 2012 excited for what is on the horizon in 2013 and knowing that with my two major projects that the first five months will be very busy.  I am working hard this week to schedule, schedule, schedule so that Spelling Bee and From Cradle to Stage are organized ahead of time and not on the fly. 

After those are done, I am not sure.  Finally Sauces is investigating BYOVs for Fringe, but if we don't get those then we will move to Plan B.  Just have to figure out what Plan B is... I have some ideas. The other Fringe project definitely has a Plan B that we just need to decide on details for. So, you see... busy.

The country is in a weird place right now.  Idle No More has replaced Occupy as the latest rallying movement.  It seems to be more organized and have more focus, but like Occupy, I still have trouble connecting with it.  It's hard to have 6-10% of the country's population telling you that they want to dictate what is best. Isn't that why we have elections? I still don't understand if this bill (C-45) and others violate the agreements in place, why there is not a legal way to prevent it.  And I do not personally connect to round dances and hunger strikes and train stoppages. Part of it is a cultural disconnection (I'm not even big on my own cultural rituals so imagine how someone else's won't grab me) and part of it is my respect for following the rules.  I'm a rule follower and I know I'd've been so ticked off to have been on that train. The cynical me always thinks it's really all about money - not the environment - but I always think that economics are always the fuel behind any push.  I'll keep reading.  It's hard to sort through the rhetoric.  It's better than Occupy was for information dissemination, but still hard.  It's also hard to respect some of those pushing Idle No More when they use words like Evil, Douchebag and Racist to describe anyone who does not agree with them. For a movement that preaches that it is open to all it has some very vocal supporters who seem very antagonistic and closed off. Sigh. Anyhow, I will welcome links that help explain the situation better, but please stay away from rhetoric.  I'm a facts and figures person.

Anyhow, I felt more grown-up this year than ever before.  Actually this was the first year in my life where I actually felt OLD.  I am 45, how come it took so long to hit? I don't know.  But I felt it.  I felt a real shift in how I felt about myself and other things.  There were many times when I lost patience with childishness and incompetence. I felt like an old man... I hope this passes... I think it's part of me still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up and realizing that I have to figure it out fast if I want to get it done. Maybe this year...

Goals for the Year:
1) Submit a play to APC and cross my fingers
2) Submit scripts to at least 10 competitions
3) Finish first draft of Pitchfork
4) Finish second draft of The Easy Road
5) Finish Fourth draft of Little Monsters
6) Go to or be involved in at least 50 Theatrical Events

Dream Goals for the Year:
1) Take the boys to Disneyland/Disneyworld
2) Visit Toronto
3) Visit Havasu

Let's see what happens.