Solutions...

So, frustrated with my perception of 'too late' with Ollie's grade 2 year I decided to put together a plan for doing what I can this summer to help him improve over the summer. The big issues seems to be focus (behavioral) and writing (cognitive/process). I can only do so much with the focus issue as it is one thing to get a a single child to focus and quite another in a class of 28 (what his class in the fall will have). So, today I made a worksheet up asking simple questions about our trip to the museum yesterday. The answers could then be taken and used to write a short story about the day. I am not skilled in Division I. I do not know what they are supposed to be able to do, so I had to rely on Ollie's cues about how skilled he should be. He wasn't happy about the exercise, but once we finished it, he seemed a lot more relaxed about it. He was really stressed about the idea of writing a story. This is hard for me to deal with because prior to this year he would try just about anything fearlessly. This school year has changed him in that regard. I am not sure why, but hopefully I will be able to help him enough so that he is comfortable writing in the fall.

School's Out... Now What?

Oliver finished up on Friday and Gibson had his last day of daycare on Thursday. They both came home with memory books that I will put away in their treasure boxes and then I will cull the rest of the detritus from the bottom of their backpacks. Crafts are lovely in the moment, but I don't want to be carting around 5 billion pastel crayon, macaroni pictures! The sugar cube pyramid will stay but only as long as it stays secure from vermin. Anyhow, I feel a paper purge coming on! I think they both had good years. The Division I reporting system is a bit annoying. If the chart is to be believed then the Descriptor "Work meets acceptable standard" is only 50-64% or a C. If the "Work exceeds the acceptable standard" it is equivalent to a 65-79% or a B. This doesn't make much sense to me and I think that it is the fault of the chart. I will be talking to the teachers next year about this and where I expect Oliver to be. If he is achieving below an A level I will be ticked off. We are talking about a kid who could read at age 4.

A few hours this morning reassured me that my plans for a YMCA Camp for both boys next week is a good thing. I have also registered them in soccer for the following two weeks, but those are shorter, 1 hour a day, 4 day camps. I like the City Soccer camps because they provide for a guaranteed 2 hours of activity for each boy, separate from each other and the only cost $10 a week. So I get 32 hours of activity for $40 (it is actually 64 hours, because while one boy is in the camp the other is playing in the park, but I have to watch whichever boy is in the park). Anyhow, it suits me, because the boys get some structured play with kids other than themselves but they don't have to be away for the whole day. They need some break over the summer, right? Oliver's YMCA camp is a Swim Combo, so I hope they push him a little with that. He'd rather just play and goof off in the water and I want him to gain some skills. I wish there were more short camps for the older kids. Most of the city camps are full day. I can get Gibson into some half day camps but you really have to hunt the brochure for convenient ones. July is pretty much worked out and I will take some time later to look into August.

My First Mammo...

So, now that I am over 40 I have to endure mammograms. I had my first 2 weeks ago. I expected the squishing and the discomfort (I watch Oprah). I did not expect to have to go back for an ultrasound due to 'unusual tissue' (not scary looking - she reassured me). I am happy to announce that the weird looking tissue was just lymph nodes (and possibly a blood vessel). So, nothing to worry about, which I did for about a week and a half between tests.

A Day in the Past....

Yesterday was Father's Day - Mark's choice of activity. He decided he wanted to go to Fort Edmonton Park. So we did. It was nice. We started at the little carnival and the boys had fun. Gibson didn't want to do the Ferris Wheel, so Mark and Oliver took a spin. We visited the fish pond and walked away with some little prizes (every one's a winner), then the big carousel. I went on with the boys, just to keep an eye on them. We rode the streetcar over to 1920's street and found some food and discovered that every place we went said 'no debit'. Luckily we found $25 on our persons and we could get a few things. The boys didn't mind. The things they wanted to do didn't cost money or else we already had some tickets. The day was overcast but didn't rain, so it was all good that way. Anyhow, we had fun, and really, the lack of debit machines just saved us money in the long run!

More on Parenting Choices - It's an Evolution...

I read the letters in the Journal today. This whole issue is coloured by generalizations and judgement and I know, I am not without guilt on that matter. I do try to see the whole picture and I feel comfortable 'thinking aloud' on my blog on this issue as opposed to writing in to the Journal with a snapshot of how I feel at one moment or in reaction to an over-generalized comment that someone else has written that I feel attacks me unfairly (for example, I do not 'do everything' for my kids - I teach them to do things for themselves). Anyhow, I wish this issue wasn't so polarized. I wish we made child-raising a priority in our culture, whether that means compensating those who do it in as a profession more, or stopping the belittlement of those who choose to stay home. I do recognize that just like home-schooling, there are those who do the job well and those that do not. Not every Stay at Home Parent is a saint or a genius at the job. Similarly, there are many who work outside the home, who do so for selfish reasons and who neglect their children to a certain extent - not all, but some. We need to stop fighting about it and find solution to issues that are fair to everyone (or at least most) not just those who work and not just those who stay at home. Sacrifices are made on both sides. Our children will live with the consequences of those choices one way or another.

Don't we want to know what's 'best'?

Lots of buzz about the Iris Evans comments on parenting. I wish I could hear the whole thing, because I think the comment was contextual. Even if it wasn't I wonder what the big deal was. No, I don't wonder, I know who's upset. The same thing happens when someone makes a broad statement about breastfeeding (breast is best), those who chose not to get their noses out of joint. I think we should aspire to what is best, fully acknowledging that there are circumstances that prevent everyone from achieving that. For example, a vaginal delivery is 'best', but I couldn't have one with Oliver (he might not have made it). Do I think that people should schedule c-sections, like Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera? NO - that is idiotic. But, a c-section is necessary to prevent a lot of dead babies and mommies. Breast is best, it's a proven fact. There are, however, some women who try and cannot breast feed (inverted nipples, babies not getting enough, etc...). Do I think you should go straight to formula because it's there and convenient? NO - that is a dumb choice. But, formula has saved many a baby who would not get nutrition otherwise. We do not want to villanize those who had no choice in these situations, however, I don't think we should let the other ones 'off the hook' for deliberately making a dumb choice.

Now, the daycare (including all the variations - nanny, day homes, babysitting, etc...) is a little more complicated, because there are plenty of kids who come from families where both parents work that have turned out fine. I think it has more to do with realizing that when you have kids you need to sacrifice something. If you both work during the day and the children are in care, you need to take the time you do have with your kids to form connections and teach them to be good humans. You might have to give up the lifestyle you had pre-children so that instead of martini nights with the girls or beer nights with the guys, you are actually parenting in the evenings. You might also have to push down the daycare-guilt and discipline your child even though you want those few hours to just be fun and wonderful. you don't do your kids any favours in the long run if you abdicate responsibility for their moral development because you feel bad about having to work. I know there are some people who 'have' to work because of the economics of their families, but there are many who choose it. Take responsibility for your choice. If you see that choice damaging your children, you might want to re-visit it.

Living in the Middle...

I just think it's the best way to go. Too extreme one way or another and you run the risk of being a bit of a wacko... This is not to say you should give in to everyone, but be reasonable.